Little Red Riding Iggy
by vordella
Summary: A hetalian take on Little red riding hood.Some what pointless. Contains my friend wolfy's oc Siberia.no pairings.


Finland: Hello! It's me Finland! And I'm here to tell you a story! But not just any story! I'm about to tell you a very special story. Now let's start! We begin our story inside an innocent cottage.

Britain : You bloody wanker!

Finland: Ok maybe not so innocent...So anyways , once upon a time there lived a puny little nation named Britain.

Britain: I'm not puny you bloody git! I'm the great and powerful British empi-

Finland: Anyways. One day his mother Britianna had a task for Britain.

Britianna: I have a job for you my little brit!

Britain: What is it mummy?

Britianna: I need a favor to ask you. I want you to deliver this basket to your grandmother.

Britain: What a simple task! I can do it in 10 seconds flat!

Finland: HEY! NO MLP REFERENCES!

Britain: Fine you killjoy.

Britianna: Ok so here is the basket and here is a red cape for you to wear.

Britain:*Puts on cape*Eh...I like black better.

Finland: Yeah well if you had a black cape it wouldn't be called little red riding hood now would it?

Britain: I guess so...

Britianna: Ok! So all you have to do to get to grandmother's house it to go to a very dangerous forest with wolves in it.

Britain: But isn't that a little bit...you know...DANGEROUS considering I'm just a child?

Britianna: You'll be fine. NOW GO!*pushes Britain out the door* Also don't open that basket ok!?

Britain: Whatevs.

Finland: And with that, Britain set off to his grandmother's house.

Britain:*skipping*OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE WE GO!

Finland: No singing! This isn't Disney!

Britain:*grumbles*Fine! Just continue on with the bloody story already!

Finland: Don't rush me! So where was I? Oh yeah. So as Britain was traveling through the wood, he stumbled upon a wolf.

Prussia: Vell hello zhere little girl!

Britain: I'M A MALE YOU BLOODY BASTARD!

Prussia: Vhatever. So vhat's a little child like you doing in ze forest?*bends over *

Britain: Why would I tell you?

Finland: BRITAIN!STICK TO THE SCRIPT!

Britain: Fine. If you **MUST **know, I'm going to my grandmother's house to give her this basket. She lives in that cottage at the end of the forest.

Prussia: Vell,Ze awesome me has a better idea. Vhy don't you go und see vhat Francy-pants is up to?

Britain: Why would I bloody do that?

Prussia: Vell.*leans further down to Britain's height and whispers* you didn't hear it from me, but I heard he's planning on invading your vital regions.

Britain: WHAT!?THAT BLOODY BASTARD!I'M COMING TO GET YOU FROG!*runs off*

Prussia:...*rape face activated*Kesesesesese! Now zhat zhe little kid is gone, I can go and invade his GRANDMOTHER'S vital regions! KESESESESESE~

Finland: Meanwhile with Britain:

Britain: IF YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABSURD LIKE THAT YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING YOU BLOODY FROG!

France: Mon dieu! What did do Angelterre?

Finland: While Britain was dealing with France, Prussia arrived at the cottage.

Prussia:*opens front door* Hello?

Finland: After a short moment of looking he finally found Britain's grandmother.

China: WHY THE HELL AM I THE GRANDMOTHER!?

Finland: Cause I feel like it and your old.

China: Why you-

Prussia: Vhy hello zhere pretty lady~

China: I'm a man!

Prussia: And now*pulls out a stamp and stamps on china's forehead* You are now officially a product of zhe awesome Prussia!

China: Fuuu-

Finland: Somewhere else.

Britain: That bloody frog. Well, I'm finally here!*knocks on door* Hello? It's me grandmother! I've come to give this basket from my mumsy!

*silence*

Britain: Grandmother?

*more silence*

Britain:*enters house*Grandmother?

Prussia:*singing while badly playing the guitar*I'M AWESOME!I'M SO AWESOME!I'M SO AWESOME I MAKE ALL ZHE OTHER COUNTRIES GROVE AT MY FEET!

China:*is all tied up*MAKE IT STOP!

Britain: AH!THIS IS BLOODY TORTURE!

Finland: And then a Lumberjack came by.

Siberia:*Comes from out of nowhere*Shut up!*chops Prussia in half*

Prussia:*dies*

Siberia: You're welcome*disappears*

Britain: Uh...thank you?

Finland: And so the day was saved by Siberia and Britain was finally able to deliver the basket to his grandmother.

China: ACK!THERE SCONES!

Finland: And everyone except Prussia lived happily ever after!The end.

Sweden: You have problems my wife.

Finland: FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT YOUR WIFE!

-THE END-


End file.
